10 Changes That Will Make The Stockade More Heroic

Wow!  It seems that my last post about 10 Changes That Will Make Deadmines More Heroic has become the most popular post on my blog by far (nearly twice as popular as the main page, in fact  o.O)!  On top of that, my 10 Changes That Will Make ___ More Heroic (where ___ is any single old-world dungeon) suggestion has been accepted as this week's Blog Azeroth shared topic!  I highly encourage you all to check out Relevart's suggestions for Ragefire Chasm, as well as Darkpurple's suggestions for Scarlet Monestary and Xeoneo's suggestions for Maraudon (all of which are more serious than my Deadmines post, as well as much better thought out and would seem like genuinely cool instances).

Anyway, to celebrate the above (and because it's been nearly 2 weeks since my last post  >.>), I bring you volume 2: 10 Changes That Will Make The Stockade More Heroic!

1. The Stockade has been renamed "The Stock-Cade", and is now a fully stocked arcade!
2. All bosses must be beaten via minigame challenges.
3. New limited resource system—quarters!
4. For added realism, it will cost 1 gold to continue in the instance after a wipe.
5. A brand new randomized miniboss encounter has been added to the instance.  Alternates daily between Whack-A-Gnome, Pin the Tail on the Tauren, and Skee-Ballistae!
6. The left wing of the instance is now a Space Invaders-like gauntlet involving Gnomish flying machines and harpoon guns!
7. Loot is no longer randomized!  Instead, it can be chosen by players...via the Claw game.
8. The Stock-Cade is open from 2pm to 4am on weekdays, and 10am to 6am on weekends.  However, private after-hours parties can be scheduled for a small fee.  No food, drinks, or pets allowed.
   
9. Fierce gaming tournaments will be held in The Stock-Cade daily, including Bejewelcrafted, Gold-Peggling, Mega Mash Siblings, Road Brawler Theta, and Dance Dance WaaauughhASpiderIsEatingMyFace...olution.
10. Oh, and as for the prisoners...they're in another castle.  ;)
    

10 Changes That Will Make Deadmines More Heroic

1. The Defias Traitor now offers a new daily heroic quest: The Big Pay. It sends you into Heroic Deadmines to acquire the Head of VanCleef, and pays double the normal daily quest reward amount.
2. Rhahk'Zor is now a two-headed ogre. Both heads have to be killed simultaneously, else the living head will resurrect the dead one. Aggro speech changed to "VanCleef pay bigger for your heads!"
3. Miner Johnson promoted to Majer Johnson (yes, the misspelling is intentional). He now dual wields mining picks.
4. The Sneed's Shredder encounter is now a vehicle fight for which players have to use catapults, motorcycles, ballistae, siege vehicles, and/or gnomish flying machines to succeed. However, the shredder itself is still susceptible to the Gnomish Universal Remote.
5. Sneed himself must now be fought by all 5 players jumping into his Shredder (now a 5-person vehicle) and using it to stop him. Two players stand on the shoulders and attack via the newly built-in turrets, one pilots and repairs the shredder, one manages the saw blade and fuel supplies, and the last uses the grappling arm to grab planks of lumber for repairing and barrels of pyrite for fuel. Combat pets can sit in front of the primary screen and play StarCraft: Brood War*.
6. Gilnid is now known as The Smelterer, and now smeltinates the foundryside with cool new abilities like Molten Ore and Melt Metal.
7. Mr. Smite has fallen in love and started a family. Players now face not Mr. Smite alone, but the bovines he commands (namely Mrs. Smite and the Smite-ettes). The Smite family now improvises with interpretive dance. Your party will have to /dance for supremacy. To facilitate this, the Dance Battle System will finally make it into the game!
8. Cookie has hired an apprentice...an ooze named Cream. Additionally, the pair now have a chance to drop main and off-hand fist weapons with brand new models—salt and pepper shakers! Hooray! Be warned, though, defeating one will cause the other to kick it up a notch. BAM!
9. In an effort to become more politically correct, Captain Greenskin has been renamed Captain Jadepidermis. Also, he can now summon sharks. With friggin' laser beams. On their heads.
10. Regular Deadmines was merely a setback! The Defias Kingpin has returned...with a vengeance! Edwin VanCleef has upgraded his Madcap's Outfit to a complete set of Totally Triumphant VanCleef's Battlegear, and now dual wields pirates who dual wield cutlasses. Also, those cutlasses have a chance on strike to summon ninjas. Ninjas with turtles. Teenage ninjas with turtles. Mutant turtles. And also a giant sewer rat. Plus, he's now 34.33% (repeating, of course) Cleefier than ever before.

*: For those of you who don't get the reference, see this.